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Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Day 14, Health Awareness Prompt: Dream Day



Saturday morning, and the day's prompt is to write about my dream day, and whether it has happened yet, and if not, how might I make it happen?

There's a song that came out just about the time that Rick and I had set our wedding date. It was sung by The Sandpipers, and I've put the link to it from You Tube at the bottom of this post.

Every little girl's dream day would be her wedding day, and in that sense, I was like any other little girl (although, to confess, there was the matter of believing that Queen Elizabeth's real child (me) had been replaced with a boy, for the sake of the crown, and I dreamed that one day Prince Charles would return, admit the deception, and allow me to assume my rightful place in the castle. But I digress...)

Rick and I had watched the political scene from a distance (we weren't old enough to vote until after our first child was born.) The Vietnam 'conflict' was taking many of our generation away ... some marriages were hastily arranged as a result. But I was a planner, and we were responsible, and we would wait until he'd finished school to marry. We'd been good friends for five years, dating for three, and betrothed for two by the time we were married, and we were quite sure that it was the right thing to do. Others may have thought waiting until the new draft lottery was held would be a wiser choice, but we knew, draft or not, military service or not, we were meant to be married. And so we set the date, and like the young couples of the day, yielded the arrangements and guest list to our parents.

I'd planned to carry lilacs from the bushes on our front lawn; my mother warned me that they would be wilted by May 30th, and they were, so my bouquet was a family prayerbook covered in ivy and stefanotis strands, simple, and humbling. The groomsmen all came on time despite the fact that many had attended their senior prom the night before. The bridal party was dressed in bright spring colors of mint and maize, carrying bouquets of daisies  and roses in  light whites and yellows tightly gathered, and it all looked as though my simple bouquet had been planned that way.

The reception, with a turkey dinner and red wine (which we were not yet old enough, at 20, to drink) was filled with dancing and all the traditional  games ... throwing the garter to the single men, and the bouquet to the single young ladies ... clinking the glasses to encourage another kiss for the bride and groom ... dancing with the father of the bride, and the mother of the groom, and then the tin cans tied to the rear bumper, with a  printed wedding napkin tucked into the gas cap, to alert all that this was a wedding couple.

It was the day a dream came true, and was followed by yet another soon after, when the draft lottery spared Rick ... and yet again, when our daughter was born a year later ... and many years later when our son was born.

Our most recent dream day was this past  Thanksgiving weekend, when, with a generous gift certificate I'd received at my retirement party, we were able to go with our daughter, son, and grandchildren out for a well-appointed brunch by shore of the Atlantic. All of us at the table -not nearly the size it would have taken for all of us in the olden days - being attended by wait staff and being allowed to wander among the buffet tables laden with traditional breakfast items and tea-time treats as well gave me pause to think, and thank.

I am so blessed with love. My life is made up of my dreams come true.

Here is the link to the music that represented that very special dream day:  Come Saturday Morning
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Friday, April 13, 2012

Day 13 Health Awareness Blog: 10 Things I Couldn't Live Without

Today's writing prompt is  asking me to write about the ten things I couldn't live without. Things. People are not things, so I'll start this list by saying that the people in my life are much more important than the things. I could do without everything as long as I could keep my husband, children and grandchildren in my life. There are many other people in my life who bring me pleasure - friends, colleagues, relatives and acquaintances, but they are not an essential life source for me as my family is. Love is a powerful resource, reciprocal at its best, and devastating if lost.

Love is not a thing ... it's an idea, an emotion, a state of being, a quest, and a gift. I could not live without the love of my family.

Health is not a thing: it is a state of being, but perceived differently by individuals. I have a strong label on my medical folders: multiple sclerosis. It carries with it a prognosis unknown, with the bleakest projections far away on the spectrum from the mildest, benign end. End, you say? There is no end to a spectrum. And if you believe that, then both ends are equally infinite, and the darkest belief is balanced by the brightest.

If this is to be a bucket list of sorts ... the ten things I could not live without ... I really have to play with the word things, because what I could not live without are intangible ideas or states of being. there is nothing tangible on my list:

  1. love: to be loved, and to love in return,
  2. self worth: a belief that I can love and be loved
  3. competence: being able to provide what I can do to better the states of others
  4. compassion: to receive compassion and to feel compassion for others
  5. understanding: a set of knowledge and an awareness of what that knowledge might provide
  6. appreciation: for those I love, for the world of nature in which we live, for air, food, water and shelter
  7.  courage: to face whatever obstacles stand in the way of those I love
  8. will: to overcome those obstacles despite whatever personal challenges I feel at the time
  9. success: as defined for myself, and as recognized by those I love, and in those I love
  10. self-confidence: to allow myself to speak up for those I love, and for myself.
Are these 'things' that I expect to be given? No. They are emotions, beliefs, values and goals that I have accepted and sought in my life. They are what I have lived, and have tried to model for those I love, that they, too, can live such a life ... where material things have less value, less importance, and are less essential than the way we can live, with whatever we have, wherever we are, and whoever we will be, with and for each other.

Does this list negate the existence or importance of a spiritual belief? Does it neglect homage to a superior being? Does it remove the obligation of duty to a religious belief? Does it place us above a God?

If in reading this list, one is discomforted by the absence of a deity in name, then one is missing all that lies between the lines. Hindus, Taoists and Buddhists recognize the existence of the greatest spirit within ourselves and each other. Their greeting, Namaste, expresses this belief, this recognition, and this humility. Isn't it hubris, you might ask, to assume that the greatest deity resides within us? Humble may be the word ... no one of us is any better, nor any less, than any other of us. "The divine within me recognizes and bows to the divine within you."  What a powerful message to share with everyone in your life ... those you love ... those you dislike ... those you fear ... those you feel responsible toward ...  Namaste is the great equalizer. It is a word that challenges each of us to be worthy, to be better, to be as loving and compassionate a provider as we may have been taught to believe that God is.

Namaste, my friend. I trust that you understand my writings. They are written from within, with love.
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